Imagine. Hope. Dream.

Dreams are the subtext of a persona. They are what motivate all of us characters within this great, weaving plot of the living. We each have desires that we hold close to us, and that we march with like banners into the battlefield of life where we encounter opposing forces in people whose dreams conflict with ours. Dreams are based around wanting something better—we dream of happiness and of love, and of personal fulfillment and success.  The specifics of dreams change as we evolve as people.  As a kid I dreamed of playing catcher for the Chicago White Sox, and I genuinely believed I would do it for a long time. Later I wanted to be an airline pilot. I’ve since moved away from these specific dreams and into others, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve found that the base needs that precede a dream are the most important thing to keep hold of. We need to believe that things can be better, and that we have a say in making them so.  Dreams are hope.

My biggest dream right now, and it has been for a long time, is to become a successful filmmaker. I say filmmaker because I want to direct, but I really enjoy cinematography as well and also editing.  Those components, to me, are the most essential ingredients to telling a story within film beyond the script.  Cinematography at its best is visual poetry, it’s the study of composition and of visual language and movement and light.  Directing is the best of all worlds, you get to express yourself and tell a story in the most exciting artistic medium imaginable with enormous creative control. Editing is the 3rd and final time a movie gets made after the writing and production. It’s the last one so its closest to the audience and therefore arguably most important. I really, really like all of them so if its not directing I’d still be thrilled with the others.

Now, the problem with dreams that involve the film industry, are that it’s a commercial art form. Movies need to make money, but they cost a lot of money to get made and so very few of the scripts out there do get made. This makes it ridiculously competitive and so it’s very hard to find a job even at an entry-level position without knowing someone on the inside. Let alone a directing job. And even if you do make it you could be chopped liver after one flop, blacklisted. 70,000 film students graduate nationwide every year and about 1,000 of them find work in the industry before they have to become the filmmaking version of the guy at parties who perpetually says: “Well I work at a restaurant right now bussing tables, but I’m really an actor.” With all of that said, I have studied at a very respected film school in Europe where I made a lot of good contacts and gained experience, and I shoot pretty much non-stop to try and improve my craft.  I have a lot of credits to my name and I know a lot of people in the industry considering I’m still in school. But it’s a long battle up ahead. I need to keep working hard and improving my skills, continue meeting people and be prepared for when my opportunity comes so I can own it.

Another dream I have is to meet the right girl. It’s probably the most unoriginal dream ever since it’s really just a basic human need for companionship–romanticized—but still.  My relationships have always been  best at the beginning, right after the initial awkward, feeling-out stage of making sure you like each other—when you both really start to be yourself around one another and appreciate each other. Then you love a person and you know they love you back and it feels fucking great and you feel like you can cure diseases and help the homeless as long as you have her. . . But then that feeling fades. Passion, like all strong emotions, is transient. People start to change, goals change, beliefs change, circumstance changes, jobs change, locations change—life happens.  And the initial luster of a person begins to wear off and then usually something horrible happens and a huge crying fight happens that leads to a new, Bob Dylan-heavy post-break-up mix tape. Well it’s really a Spotify playlist, but mix tape just sounds better.   So with all that, my dream is to fall in love with someone and have that new sock feeling last and get stronger. You hear about it in books and songs and movies—it has to have happened to someone. Hopefully it’ll happen to me too. I’m not saying I’m looking for the one, it’s just someone, someone that makes me a better person and I her.

She’s doesn’t have to be Keanu Reeves in “The Matrix”.

I love traveling, it comes up a lot in my writing. I want to visit all seven continents, and if they ever make commercial flights to the moon in my lifetime—I want a ticket!  Some of the places I’d most like to go are Iceland, New Zealand, Tokyo, Japan, India, China, Chile, Greece, Croatia, St. Petersburg, Russia, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, South Korea, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, Israel, Egypt, Ethiopia, South Africa, Spain, Italy, Cannes, France, Portugal, Denmark—all of Europe basically–and Mexico. San Francisco, New York again, Austin, Texas, Miami, Seattle, Portland, Boston! Everywhere!! Basically, I just want the means to see the world, it doesn’t have to be first class and five star hotels—I’m fine with a backpack and hostels. I just want to go places.
So I guess the ultimate dream would be to marry the girl I love, and travel the world with her while I make a movie about pirates or vagabonds or something. THAT would be awesome.


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